We all have something worth sharing… introducing Chapters & Interludes
I’ve never considered myself much of a writer. Until recently, I hardly even read that much. I was never into books and hated English class and literature in school. They were my worst subjects and I rarely put in much effort to do better — I didn’t care that much. I just never really got that much joy out of reading and writing. Then a few years ago, when I first heard about journaling from my therapist (more on her later), I gave it a shot.
It hardly stuck at first and I had a really hard time making it a habit. I was always judging my journal entries and thinking about how horrible they sounded. At the off chance I did pick up a book, I got used to reading professional storytellers with years of experience, so whatever I was putting on the page sounded nothing like that — not even close. In fact, it sounded a whole lot worse. So I got self-conscious about my journal entries and I specifically told my therapist that if anyone was reading it they would think it was written by a 4th grader (sorry, no offense to all of the 4th graders out there).
She laughed but reminded me that the actual point of journaling was not to sound professional but to get your thoughts out onto a page to release yourself from their power over you. I had clearly missed the point, so I tried my best to separate my self conscious fears of how it sounded and just get my thoughts on a page. I reminded myself it was only for me, that it would somehow help me mentally and provide some level of self-care with all the stress and trauma in my life.
My journaling habit started to pick up momentum and build steam — and before I knew it, I was journaling every day. I saw the changes it was making in my life and I now swear by its power to improve things dramatically, but more on that later. Now, after years of journaling and writing for myself (except my wife, who I’ll sometimes read to from my journal for particular entries), I’ve decided to start sharing my writings and thoughts with the world.
Why now? For starters, I feel like after all this time journaling I’ve gotten much more comfortable getting down on paper what’s in my head, and I’ve actually gotten somewhat decent at explaining my thoughts. I’ve also realized that things get better with practice and even though when I first started journaling it may have sounded childish, I’m sure I was being overly harsh and critical of myself. After all, we are our own worst critic and I’m sure those thoughts were just driven out of fear of rejection. Either way, I’m now at a point where I’m ready to share my writings and musings.
Who am I? I’ll really get more into the “who am I” question as I continue my writing, but I’m someone who’s made mistakes and gone through a lot in life. I love leading and mentoring others, so naturally, I’m inclined to take the lessons from my mistakes and pass them on to you. More specifically, my name is Jared. I’m 34 years old, a US Navy Veteran and ex-Submarine Officer, and currently work in financial services for a large bank. I live in New York City, and enjoy spending time with my wife and our dog, Bentley. We’re excited to welcome a new member into the family towards the end of the year (I’m going to be a dad!). I enjoy running, weight lifting, sunny days in Riverside Park and I LOVE sailing and being out on the water. I’ll go into more detail on all of this later, but for now, just know that I’ve been on the journey to improve my mental health for 5+ years and I’m excited to share with you what I’ve learned.
Deep down I feel that we all have something worth sharing. We all have deep emotions running through us that drive our behaviors and personality, and they’re all a result of trauma we’ve experienced and stories we’ve been told. I wish everyone could find the courage to knock down the wall, put their guards down, and share their emotions and feelings with the world. I’m sure it would be a much better place if we could put aside our insecurities and be vulnerable with each other. Regardless, I’ve come to a point where, with the help and support of my wife and a tribe of brothers, I’ve decided I’m ready and able to share my story with the world.
Connor Beaton (@ManTalks) once told me, “your mess becomes your message.” So here I am, taking my mess, or a series of messes really, and crafting a message out of all the things I’ve discovered about life. So here it begins, Chapters & Interludes, the story of my journey to find happiness, purpose, and my tribe and all the things I’ve learned along the way… |
